Saturday, July 19, 2008

Sleeping - I mean Struggling

Old picture but I love it...

Sleeping has been a struggle since Miles rolled over. I have been trying to let him cry and keep going in to check on him, but he can cry, and cry, and cry all the way through a nap until his next feeding. He's been sleeping less than 2 hours per day and finally falling asleep exhausted during his last feeding (not good from a training perspective either). He is also back to waking up in the middle of the night crying - I think it's the arms out of the swaddle that is pissing him off. We haven't gotten a full night of sleep since he rolled over.

Anyway, frantically, I started pulling books off the shelf that Jeannie (sister-in-law) gave me and reading them for tips. The most recent one is "Secrets of the Baby Whisperer" by Tracey Hogg. Her philosophy is that a child is a person and you need to respect them as such. You also need to understand their temperament (I think Miles is combination "textbook" and "spirited") and listen to their cries to learn what they mean. You shouldn't respond too quickly, or you can miss what the baby is trying to say with their cries. She is adamant that you don't treat all cries with hugs, a boob, or a pacifier. That makes for bad training later on.

I've been saying since Miles was born that "he won't let us put him down". According to her, that is all too common, and you need to teach the baby independence. As such, once you put the baby down and he cries, pick him up (don't let him cry it out) and sooth him until his needs are met and he has stopped crying. At which point, you put him down again. And repeat. She is adamant that you don't over-coddle the baby (which we have been guilty off). Once their needs are met, put them down again. She talks about going through this process with one baby over 100 times the first go, 40 times the second, and 8 times the third. I guess the theory is the baby learns that it isn't scary or upsetting to be put down. They learn if they cry that they will be comforted, but also that they will be put down again and that is okay.

Miles didn't sleep at all this morning. Literally. After he was up for about 6 hours, we put him in the crib and tried to let him cry it out with me checking on him every 10 minutes. He was SO EXHAUSTED and he fell asleep about 20 minutes into it, but woke up screaming 45 minutes later. I knew he was still exhausted but he couldn't sleep. So desperate for anything and not feeling strong enough to let him cry it out some more, I tried the baby whisperer thing and kept picking him up and putting him down. He only took a moment to sooth, and I put him down again. It took about an hour, and picking him up 42 times, but he finally fell asleep and stayed asleep. He actually slept an hour through his feeding so I finally woke him up.

I put him to bed again the same way, according to our "routine", awake but tired. Without crying once, he fell asleep - there was actually a little sweet cooing. He has always been good about falling asleep at bedtime and we'll see how he gets through the night, but his afternoons nap was such a success, I thought I would share it.

Parenting is hard.

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